Glasgow´s women ready for visit of world´s most gorgeous man:
WHY is it you wait your whole life for Mr Right to come along and when he finally does turn up, you have to fight off a million other hopeful girls for him?
This month Mr Brad Pitt, aka The Most Beautiful Man In The World, is coming to Scotland - and the nation's women (and some of its men) are on red alert.
The actor will be visiting Glasgow to shoot scenes for his latest film, zombie movie World War Z, which is ironic as his presence is highly likely to cause a fair number of the city's residents to chase after him while mindlessly drooling.
I'm sure it's an experience that follows him wherever he goes, but I'm pretty certain he won't know what's hit him when he walks the streets here.
There are A-listers and then there are the likes of Brad, a man so famous, so universally lusted after that he makes the great seducer James Bond look like Mr Bean.
So ladies, this is no time for slacking. It's going to be boom-time in the hairdressers and beauty salons of the city as Glaswegian girls glam up for the arrival of a real Hollywood heart-throb.
In fact Brad's probably the hottest thing to land on our shores since Elvis's brief stop-over at Prestwick Airport last century.
Of course, pulling out all the stops to catch Brad's eye won't be any stretch for our gallus women because let's be honest, anyone who's experienced the nightlife here knows they're not slow at making themselves seen or heard.
People always remark on how friendly Glaswegians are, but I think Brad's in for the welcome of his life.
My university roommate's 10ft tall poster of Brad in a still from Legends Of The Fall loomed large over my late-teens, as well as my bed, so I blame her for my romantic attachment to the pin-up.
And as someone who, very embarrassingly, fainted with excitement at a Justin Timberlake concert, I'd guess the odds of me having a full-blown meltdown at the sight of the naked cowboy from Thelma & Louise is quite high.
But I'll risk it. And OK, he may have dated the world's most beautiful women, from Gwyneth Paltrow to Jennifer Aniston, and yes, he's officially still shacked up, at least some of the time, with the goddess that is Angelina Jolie. Plus not being a native of this city I have zero chance of holding my own against the blow-dried, glossy-lipped and beautifully turned out locals.
But I could always try to catch his attention with a Tomb Raider costume or a Rachel haircut.
Or maybe I should just get to the point and state my intentions, although I have a suspicion Glasgow Airport's security don't like it when you wait at the arrivals gate in a wedding dress.
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